Attack of the Ten Year old Boys.

Swim Meets aren't usually very fun. The buildings we swim in smell of chlorine and other pool chemicals, they are hot, and you can't always tell whether you're sweating or water is dripping off your neck and on to your legs.

The swim meet I went to yesterday was especially weird, and bad...

However, the highlight were the Ten Year old Boys from out of state who placed them selves directly in front of us.

You're probably thinking, "Ten year old boys? Thats not too bad! They are just kids! LOL."

No. OH no. These were not your ordinary, everyday, run of the mill, ten year old boys. These were...I can't describe it...Just...Just read.

At first, they were harmless. Just kids. They were waiting for their turn to swim, just like me. They would probably have DS's and would probably play cards. Because thats what, well, everyone does at meets. Or at least they did back in the olden days, (2010) These boys were loud, and just not what I expected.

They suddenly had some orange game board, but it was like a bowl, no chutes, no ladders, no play money, no little silver hats, nothing. Just a plastic thing on a ring, and metal tops. I call it, the Spinny Thing Game. It has a name....Like Bearblood or something similar, but to avoid getting screamed at by some fancy company with lawyers and money we're calling it the Spinny Thing Game.

They were soooo loud...And soooo into this game...

The game looked like a rip off of a game I played with I was really little with my cousins, and it looked harder, because all you did in that game, was press a button and maybe turn a knob. In Bearblood/The Spinny Thing Game, you had to rip a plastic cord out of another plastic piece to make the metal thing bounce and take out the other metal things until only one metal thing is spinning. (Optional: Count the seconds it takes for said winning metal thing to stop spinning).

Parental Unit #2(Mother) and I watched with both confusion and interest as the ten year old boys played to earn skittles...They weren't even the good kind...They were the weird new skittles that will never be as good as the original. That was when I really started to dislike them.

There about six of them, and they had two games set up. One was 1x1 and the other appeared to be 1x1x1x1, but they varied. The one closest to us was 1x1 most of the game, but that didn't stop the other ten year olds from watching. And seats are hard to find in this place, so what better place to sit then on a nice foot. Thats right. One of them sat on my moms foot.

A few minutes later, a parental unit for one of the boys showed up, and asked if they were annoying us. And because we are too nice, we said no. The loudness and foot sitting was better then shave ice on the beaches of Maui.

My mom pointed out to a fellow parental unit that she had lots of kids, and was also a former teacher. 

The parental unit then told the child unit that the teacher would tell him what to do.

They moved a little bit but it wasn't long until one of them was sitting squished between the wall next to us and my mom. He was pretty much sitting on her lap. We had then started to wonder if we were in the way.

The game got more intense then. The boys were constantly whacking us with their elbows as they yanked on the plastic spinny launcher with more force then actually needed, and getting each other "Disqualified" for touching the spinny thing when it had already stopped.

The boys who got disqualified were distraught, and it wasn't long until wars would break out.

Sniping wars. Yep. Because one kid described one move from his spinny thing as: "Bouncing off everybody's and sniping...I don't know what sniping means in that context, but I'm not sure I want to know...

It was then the heavy country accents broke out. They were both annoying and hilarious...I wrote notes down with speed, ready to document this historic event.

They said things such as: "I was s'posed to stop that!!!" "Okay! HERE WE GO! *rip*"

And my favorite, which was a mixture of rich brat, and country: "GIMME THAT! It's MY GATORADE!!! MINE."

And yes. The bold, italic, underlined text was necessary.

The one who had brought out the spinny game then started to coach the others in the game.

"Do you guys wanna know the secret to winning this game?" He asked.

They all said yes and waited for the secret. It must've been very serious. He whispered it.

Ten minutes later, it was revealed that he had never won that game before.

I don't understand the Spinny Thing Game, but I hear it's an Olympic event.

Reasons to be an Astronaut.

I'm not going to be an astronaut...I don't have the attention span for it, and I don't think they have internet connectivity in space...
So, for all the of the crazy people who can go months at a time without WiFi and have a long enough attention span, I have created a list of reasons why you should be an astronaut, and what you should do as an astronaut.

1. Be able to predict the weather from space.
Should there be windows in the shuttle, or the space station, or whatever, you can do things like this.
"You know Rick, it looks like Kansas is gonna have a storm tomorrow....I think its gonna snow in Wisconsin too." "Thats hail, stupid."

2. Stupid and predictable jokes.
Again with the window thing...When you can see the continent/country you are living in when not in space, say, "Hey! I can see my house from here!"

3. Sing random songs on your way into space.
I'm not talking "A thousand bottles of freeze-dried beer on the wall."(That does sound entertaining though.) No, I'm talking about songs from Spongebob, or even your favorite internet autotune.
The point is, they will be thinking about how amazing this experience is while you'll be thinking about how fast you can sing the "Campfire song song".

4. Lots of buttons to push.
Whether you know what they do or not, they are buttons, and you can push them.

5. Being able to prove someone can hear you if you scream in space.
When you're in space, the logical thing to do is say things like this: "ksssssch. Houston, can I ask you a question?" "Go ahead." "ksssssch. Okay well I was just wondering about the-" this is where you scream at the top of your lungs. "Did you hear that, houston?"

6. Ice cream that doesn't need a freezer.
It doesn't go runny...Ever...

7. Flying.
No gravity means you can fly all the time. If you plan on becoming an astronaut, I would start thinking of Superhero names now.

Books

I remember a few years ago, either this popped into my mind or my mother told me to do it, I decided to write a book.

It was about a girl named Gabby, her sister Tessa, her dad, a hot werewolf guy named Jake, and their Bull Mastiff named Lai, and I'm pretty sure I named Tessa after my sisters dog she used to have.

I remember the beginning of the story where a guy came to their house and told Gabby their mother was dead...About ten chapters later she was proved alive...For some reason I thought that her mother's air force buddies would think this was a funny joke...I soon realized it would never happen, yet I kept it anyways.

I was going through a Jon and Kate plus 8 craze at the time, and the idea of having Jake and Gabby have six kids randomly popped into my mind, and was pure gold... A few were named after friends, a few had names I just lied, and one had some weird werewolf name from an internet generator.

But...How? I had no knowledge of where babies came from at that age, so I needed an excuse, and it had to be good! Then one day, it came to me! "I got it! When a girl gets turned into a werewolf, there is a possibility she gets pregnant!" Plus at this point Gabby was already a werewolf, so it worked. Looking back, it was a stupid idea. This is where my favorite characters came in...Kasey and Corey. I believe they were brothers, but my memory of the writing process is blurry...Kasey and Corey were Jake's best friends, and only pack members. They were also living in a dump, except the exteriror was cool...In the inside? That was a completely different story. Bricks and pieces of wood fell from the ceiling...In my imagination, it looked like a drunk guy had taken a jackhammer, a sledgehammer, and a chainsaw and just went insane...

When it eventually came time for Gabby to have her six kids/puppies, I remembered something crucial...Not only did I have no knowledge of how people got pregnant, I had no idea how they were born. I had hit a wall...I would never finish the story like I wanted, and I would have to simply end my wonderful terrible story by saying, "And Gabby, Jake, and their kids lived happily forever after while Kasey and Corey hunted down the drunk guy that destroyed their house." I couldn't have that happen. And then, my little mind came up with a solution! Gabby would faint, be rushed to the hospital, and then, the kids would appear...Little did I know this would mean that Gabby not remembering it would mean she would've been unconscious during labor, and I'm pretty sure someone would be awake for that.

I remember Gabby putting the kids in their cribs and walking away...Then her mom babysat and one of the kids went through her first werewolf transformation with Grandma not-dead and then she never spoke about it, and Gabby and Jake never freaked out...

But, not long after that Gabby freaked out terribly. Her six kids were now ten years old...And it happened over night. Jake explained it happened to lots of werewolves...He even included it happened to him. About a year later, after receiving and discovering new information, I realized this would be weird, creepy, possibly illegal, and would make Jake a parent at eight years old...I later changed "It happened to me." to "It happened to my little sister."

But I wasn't done yet...No. Not at all...I was in a long-running wolf pack roleplay with my friend over the internet...I figured: "I'll throw a couple of my characters in here! It'll be great!" Thus, Silvermoon and Kyler were thrown in the story. I'm not sure where I got Kyler, but I'm pretty sure I named him after my friends sister...I'm also pretty sure he was dark blue with red eyes...

After that, Jake and Kyler rolled off a cliff...I don't remember how, but Jake eventually came back to life...

I figured, "I'm gonna get this masterpiece piece of crap published someday! I should write a sequel for all the fans I'm gonna have!"

So, I got working on a sequel...It was equally as terrible for the thirty pages I wrote.