Sunday, May 15, 2011

Attack of the Ten Year old Boys.

Swim Meets aren't usually very fun. The buildings we swim in smell of chlorine and other pool chemicals, they are hot, and you can't always tell whether you're sweating or water is dripping off your neck and on to your legs.

The swim meet I went to yesterday was especially weird, and bad...
However, the highlight were the Ten Year old Boys from out of state who placed them selves directly in front of us.
You're probably thinking, "Ten year old boys? Thats not too bad! They are just kids! LOL."
No. OH no. These were not your ordinary, everyday, run of the mill, ten year old boys. These were...I can't describe it...Just...Just read.

At first, they were harmless. Just kids. They were waiting for their turn to swim, just like me. They would probably have DS's and would probably play cards. Because thats what, well, everyone does at meets. Or at least they did back in the olden days, (2010) These boys were loud, and just not what I expected.

They suddenly had some orange game board, but it was like a bowl, no chutes, no ladders, no play money, no little silver hats, nothing. Just a plastic thing on a ring, and metal tops. I call it, the Spinny Thing Game. It has a name....Like Bearblood or something similar, but to avoid getting screamed at by some fancy company with lawyers and money we're calling it the Spinny Thing Game.

They were soooo loud...And soooo into this game...
The game looked like a rip off of a game I played with I was really little with my cousins, and it looked harder, because all you did in that game, was press a button and maybe turn a knob. In Bearblood/The Spinny Thing Game, you had to rip a plastic cord out of another plastic piece to make the metal thing bounce and take out the other metal things until only one metal thing is spinning. (Optional: Count the seconds it takes for said winning metal thing to stop spinning).

Parental Unit #2(Mother) and I watched with both confusion and interest as the ten year old boys played to earn skittles...They weren't even the good kind...They were the weird new skittles that will never be as good as the original. That was when I really started to dislike them.

There about six of them, and they had two games set up. One was 1x1 and the other appeared to be 1x1x1x1, but they varied. The one closest to us was 1x1 most of the game, but that didn't stop the other ten year olds from watching. And seats are hard to find in this place, so what better place to sit then on a nice foot. Thats right. One of them sat on my moms foot.

A few minutes later, a parental unit for one of the boys showed up, and asked if they were annoying us. And because we are too nice, we said no. The loudness and foot sitting was better then shave ice on the beaches of Maui.

My mom pointed out to a fellow parental unit that she had lots of kids, and was also a former teacher. 
The parental unit then told the child unit that the teacher would tell him what to do.
They moved a little bit but it wasn't long until one of them was sitting squished between the wall next to us and my mom. He was pretty much sitting on her lap. We had then started to wonder if we were in the way.

The game got more intense then. The boys were constantly whacking us with their elbows as they yanked on the plastic spinny launcher with more force then actually needed, and getting each other "Disqualified" for touching the spinny thing when it had already stopped.
The boys who got disqualified were distraught, and it wasn't long until wars would break out.
Sniping wars. Yep. Because one kid described one move from his spinny thing as: "Bouncing off everybody's and sniping...I don't know what sniping means in that context, but I'm not sure I want to know...

It was then the heavy country accents broke out. They were both annoying and hilarious...I wrote notes down with speed, ready to document this historic event.
They said things such as: "I was s'posed to stop that!!!" "Okay! HERE WE GO! *rip*"
And my favorite, which was a mixture of rich brat, and country: "GIMME THAT! It's MY GATORADE!!! MINE."
And yes. The bold, italic, underlined text was necessary.

The one who had brought out the spinny game then started to coach the others in the game.
"Do you guys wanna know the secret to winning this game?" He asked.
They all said yes and waited for the secret. It must've been very serious. He whispered it.
Ten minutes later, it was revealed that he had never won that game before.

I don't understand the Spinny Thing Game, but I hear it's an Olympic event.