Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I have been a lonely, awkward home schooled child for the majority of my life.
For three years my only friend was a girl from my swim team. Then she moved. Then my friend was a guinea pig...Then he died.
But since forever, all I seem to hear from people is, "Wait...So...How are you like social and like stuff?"
At least I don't add like and "and stuff" after every few sentences.

But recently, my mother discovered a school for just home schooled kids. A one day a week thing, and I was on my way to being a normal child. However, I think it's quite obvious I'm never gonna be a normal child. I spend most of my days locked in my bedroom, thinking about unicorns and pokemon. I understand that more than 2.7 million people already do this on a regular basis, but it will never be the definition of normal.

It all started at the oreintation, where I was forced to act even slightly normal and maybe participate in the all-too-social meet and greet with my teachers. It was scary. I was in a giant room, with lots of people...And they smelled like pineapples.

My teachers were nice, and ready to show me what it was like to be a normal child. But the other students were staring at me most of the time. I think they wanted to drag me away and confront me, ask me why I didn't smell like pineapples and why I was not joining in their hug filled, giggling mess of social happiness.
Then I would have to explain how weird I was and how I didn't have pineapple soaps. It was the scariest thing ever, and I could have been mauled or ripped apart limb by limb at any second.

Thankfully, I survived though, and I have lived to tell the tale...

Oh you thought I was done? Oh no. There are still like five paragraphs left.

Because my dad didn't wanna go to my orientation, he took me to my first day of school. My parents left me at my first class, and I started to go crazy. I was alone with the pineapple people.

I survived the first half of the day, and soon arrived at lunch. Now, my lunch room is girls only, which means a half-hour of nothing but slurping, munching, and annoying talk about whatever was for some reason popular to girls my age that week. I did not talk at all, I just listened to the blabber from my fellow females.

I was almost done with my sandwich, but then, a voice shouted from the other side of the room, and my sandwich no longer mattered. The girl took out a large blue box and started talking.
"OKAY GUYS!!! Now. I uh-pollo-gize, if I stink up the room with tuna smell, but THIS....IS MY LUNCH!" From then on, her name was not Sally, or Rachel, or even Maybell Gracie Sue, her name, was Tuna Girl. And for the past few weeks, she only brings tuna and crackers, tuna sandwiches, tuna salad. Doesn't matter. Always. Tuna.


A couple months have passed though, and its gotten better. The semester ended yesterday, and guess what? I made friends.
No really. Dorky Homeschooled Kids can make them. Don't worry, I was surprised too.
Every night I look up at my ceiling and I think about my friends, only to go. "Wait did I just say I have friends?" It's both an amazing yet terrifyingly evil concept. I mean...Think about it.
Friends are what people long for so much in life. That and significant others. Trust me. I've had my fair share of wishes for both those things...
Friends are there to help you off your feet when you get pushed down. Friends are there to talk to when you're sad. Friends are there to give you a reassuring smile when you are about to spill your heart out to that guy you accidentally pushed down when you were turning a corner and met lips with last month...

Friends are also there to learn all your secrets, and store them away in a little corner of their hearts and heads, only to pull them out at the most random moments, to either make you feel good, bad, or embarrass you. But if you're anything like me, you can do that on your own, no help needed.

Oh and that push down and lips meet thing...Didn't happen to me.
See? I'm so lonely and romantically awkward, I had to make up some random scenario for this.
And this has really gotten off topic...