Monday, January 31, 2011

Night Time Snacking - Xtreme Steath Style

Your parent/legal guardian/sibling tells you to turn down the volume on your Big Bang Theory episodes on DVD. they say, "I'm going to bed!" you respectfully turn down your nerd fest on DVD and the conversation continues.

"G'night!" "Night ____!"
Thirty minutes to an hour pass...You are now requiring a late night snack...
Tonight, you plan on making as little noise as possible to avoid a SHHHHHHHHHHHH from anyone else awake.
This is where your mission begins.

1. You must first head down the creaky stairs, around the corner, past the bathroom, through the doorway, and into the kitchen...
This part is easy. Once you're down the stairs, you're safe until the kitchen...Day err...Night dream about sandwiches and ice cream...Pudding cups and marshmallow peeps.

2. Good. You're in the kitchen! You're hungry, but idea less...Most of the things in the fridge require a spoon or fork, or a microwave. The beep from the mircowave would probably disturb your sleeping family member(whose bedroom is conveniently placed DIRECTLY ABOVE the kitchen.). You need to work fast, and silent.
This part is kinda tricky...There are those fruit bars in the freezer, but you're not really in the mood...The cupboard door squeaks really loud and thats an automatic SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, so pudding cups are probably out...The only thing you can think of is those chips on the counter and the salsa in the fridge. Go for it!

3. This is where things usually start to go wrong. Don't think you're doing a good job juuuuuuust yet...You aren't done yet so be careful. 
You've got the salsa, You've got the chips, you've got the bowls. Good. This is where I failed and got a SHHHHH. We didn't have mild, just medium and hot. I can't stand hot, and I didn't check to see if the medium was open. After a very loud POP I continued my mission.

4. If you're eating in the kitchen, forget it, you lose. The crunching of your chips or crunchy snack will get you shushed. If you have a TV room, living room, or something, eat there.
First, pour your salsa if you're eating chips like me, and carry it to your eating place. with a chip bowl. If you don't have a chip bowl and just a bag, leave the bag for now, go back for it later to avoid too much noise.

5. If you got through these steps without a SHHHHH. Congrats! Enjoy your snack!
Should you decide you want to grab your laptop from your desk upstairs, thats another story.
Should you accidentally pour too much salsa and set your mouth on fire trying to finish it all, you should probably have that frozen fruit bar now.

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